Bass player offenses and fines
Bass player offenses/fines list
from anon-11644109@craigslist.org via Melina.
My bassplayer ex-boyfriend used to say there are two kinds of bassplayers - the tall skinny gloomy ones and the plump cheery ones. Sadly, he was of the first kind.
Name of offender _____________________________
Date of offense(s) _____ / _____ / _______
Musical offenses
- Sound-checking amp with funk slapping — $25
- Loud cursing after mistake — $10
- Playing high and fast after mistake — $20
- Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes — $20
- Asking for "E" tuning note — $25
- Playing E anyway when horns tune to Bb — $50
- Writing note names over ledger-line notes — $50
- Playing eighth notes — $5 each
- Playing sixteenth notes — $10 each
- Playing above 1st octave-immediate dismissal
- Dragging fast tempo — $75
- Dragging ballad tempo — $100
- Blacking out during ballad — $200
- Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me — $1000
Upright player offenses
- Asking leader for a solo — $30
- Accepting solo when offered — $50
- Taking second chorus — $100
- Playing solo arco — $400
- Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune — $25
- Playing "A Train" ending on every tune — $200
- Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune — $500
Electric player offenses
- Playing with a pick — $50
- Tuning during ballad — $30
- Attempting last word on final chord — $50
- Achieving last word on final chord — $100
- Long gliss down to final note — $200
Equipment violations—electric
- Forgetting strap — $10
- Forgetting to turn amp on — $40
- Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip — $50
- Asking horn player for help moving amp — $25
- Bringing custom-made bass — $100 per string above 4
- Bringing more than 1 bass — $100 per extra bass
- Skull decals on bass — $150
- Bringing fretless bass — $500
Criminal bad taste and basic stupidity
- Quoting "Birdland" — $25
- Practicing scales during break — $25
- Practicing scales during drum solo — $50
- Practicing — $150
- Continually asking "where are we?" — $25
- Continually shouting "Yeah!" — $25
- Taking cellphone call during 4's — $100
Technorati Tags: Music, Humor
Labels: music
3 Comments:
OMG too funny and I am with you on all of those!!!
I added you to my blog roll :) Hope you don't mind. I love your sense of humor!
Shouldn't the fine for cell phone use be higher? A lot higher?
Failure to take drummer's tempo- $200
Taking drummer's tempo- $500
Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in his car? He had to call AAA to get the drummer out.
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