Jusk Ask Judy, one of my most loyal comment-leavers, asked me to do her "If I could be..." meme. For the full list of suggested professions, see her site. Here are the three I chose. They make me nostalgic for things that never were. It also reminds me of "Runaway Bunny" so I will answer in that style.
If I could be a bonnie pirate, I would sail only where the weather is good and take plenty of limes. I would make sure every pirate on board was loyal and reliable and ready for a change, and I would then suggest we shift our focus to rest, recreation, and research rather than plunder. Plundering seems too dangerous to me.
If I could be a backup singer I would stand at the back of the stage right up close to two other women, my best friends, and we would be swaying slowly together in slinky outfits. We would deliver smooth, slippery harmonies while silently mocking the lead singer out front. It would be a kind of music I've never gotten to do onstage - maybe salsa, or cover tunes from the 50s.
If I could be a hobbit I would do it in a heartbeat. Hobbits live where it's beautiful and care about the things I care about. I'm tired of trouble, and hobbits seem to have less trouble than most. I would tend my garden and walk in and out through my round doorways enjoying the butterflies and a long, long life full of family and supreme contentment. I'm ready.