Gripe: you can't strike "Strike Anywhere" matches anywhere.

I take this personally because when I was a kid my dad was Vice-President of Diamond Match. What has happened to these matches? They're absolutely horrible now.

Not only can you not strike these matches "anywhere," you can't successfully ignite them even on their own special proprietary strips. Every box of matches around our house has smeared, ruined strips (I bet there's a trade-name for those strips, but my dad never told me what it was). I've tried various weights of sandpaper and all sorts of other potentially fire-inducing rough surfaces, no luck.

I DO recall my dad lighting matches on the soles of his shoes, back in the day.

I think the wooden match - at least the cynical simulation of a wooden match as now perpetrated upon us by this formerly glorious company - has become one of those non-functional products which people keep buying because there are few alternatives.

I wonder if there are now special, ultra-expensive boutique matches which people buy because ordinary matches don't work any more.