Sunday, February 11, 2007

More words of wisdom from the readers of my other blog.

Here's a second installment of snippets from Caray, Caray!, where my intrepid recappers brave the lurid worlds of the telenovelas in order to help the many who, without knowing much or any Spanish, are nevertheless addicted to these tales of (1) steamy romance; (b) heartless betrayal; (c) babies switched at birth, (d) extreme boob jobs and face lifts, and (e) leprosy visited upon the villainous (though not until the last episode). Some of these gems are from the recappers, others are readers' comments.

Flor tells Luba to be careful. Luba laughs, she's crossed the river a million times. Of course she puts two feet in the river and immediately does a face plant. She gets swept downstream as Flor shrieks for help and runs along the river. Flor finally finds a big stick and tries to help Luba but all we see are Luba's boots sticking straight up out of the water, like when we were kids and used to do handstands in the pool.

Oh yeah, I remember guys like Emilio in high school and I did my best to avoid them. Good gosh darn thing because at my 25 yr. reunion most of those ex-studs were sporting gigantic beer guts and the school's biggest nerd matured into a total hottie, rolling in dough from starting his own hi-tech company, with a complete babe as his wife. Bwahahahahah!

We need LA FEA ACTION FIGURES!!! We could design endless plot variations and act them out to our personal satisfaction, complete with plenty of snappy dialogue. We could design a new wardrobe for Lety, and maybe bring in GI Joe to take care of Ariel. This would soothe our irritation at the slow pace of the telenovela.

Paulina & JC are in his office, getting their daily exercise patting themselves and each other on the back over what fine architects or whatever they are.

I forgot, but at the beginning Nic was telling Mariángela about Dolores - it seems he is enamored with Dolores, yet has not acted on his feeling because of her son Tiberto. ****Yes Nic I've seen this many times on Dr. Phil, you just have to bide your time until Tiberto finishes school.... Wait a minute, Tibero is like 57 years old, he's seriously like seventeen years older than his mother****

Gabe is the father of both lil spawns... Joselyn did the drug thing that seems to be quite the rage lately... Desperate Housewives did the same thing this week. You just give em sleeping pills combined with viagra... it apparently just totally does the trick. She had a paternity test done in vitro and has had literally 1000's of copies made and hands them out to anyone willing to take one.

Then Don Loco orders Gaspar to return Alina to the cave, Gaspar follows the order. I haven’t seen all the episodes this week, this is my first look at Gaspar. I think I saw him once at a Metallica concert, he’s not retarded, he just smoked too much pot. Really, I think that’s the guy.

Melinama you said it so well "what a bunch of imbeciles". This novela makes me want to scratch my eyes out at the stupidity of it all. I keep asking myself why, why, why do I keep watching!!!

Alina begs the dog for forgiveness. She mumbles to herself a bunch of worthless stuff, including whining about Emiliooo and about how she is in love with him. How do you inspire that kind of loyalty in a woman for real? If I didn’t treat my wife well, she wouldn’t be sitting in a cave thinking how much she still loves me, she would be calling me asking where this month’s alimony check is.

I am wondering quite a bit how Marcia keeps from blinking? Do you think she is actually asleep with her eyes open???????????

Here's just a small bit of trivia for y'all about that handshape you call the "Mundo de Fieras" hand. [Editor's note: another novela, "Mundo de Fieras," aka "World of Wild Beasts," in which an evil triumvirate of women make cat scratches in the air behind people's backs sometimes.] In American Sign Language, that "open claw" handshape is used for many negative signs. For example, if you put it in front of your face and wiggle the fingers with the palm facing yourself, centered in front of your nose, it means "crabby" or "cranky." If you face palm toward yourself and fingers point downward at your waist, then bring it up fast toward your face, it means "angry" and if you just circle that handshape on your abdomen in front of the stomach, it means nauseated. The only time I have ever seen it faced toward the other person was one day when my ex husband was yelling and fussy with me, a teenager with Down Syndrome saw him and walked over to him and made that sign right up close to my ex's nose as if to say, "don't be so fussy!" My ex collapsed in laughter and couldn't be angry any more. The young man just smiled and walked back to his group.

I've never seen anyone in a telenovela react quickly to a health crisis. Whenever an unfortunate character falls to the ground, unconscious, obviously severely afflicted with who-knows-what, the companion starts shouting, demanding to know what's wrong, to please wake up, grabbing the stricken one by the shoulders and shaking, shouting and crying until the scene fades to a commercial.

See, I am having a problem with the whole space/time continuum... this day stretches out like it is being sucked thru a black-hole... If my day at work lasted this long, and trust me, I am working no harder than the slackers at Conceptos... they'd find me dangling from the ceiling; my shoes would be on the floor with no laces....

The show could not have been too interesting if so many have commented about Aldo's shirt. I didn't see a stain but he does look different. Either his head is shrinking or his hair is getting flatter.

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At 5:32 PM, Blogger Ferro94 said...

I feel special to see a couple of my own items on here. I'm going to look through your history to find episode one of this great series.

At 7:20 PM, Blogger schoolmarm said...

I liked the compendium (and I am pleased to see mine there, too). Thanks for posting these from time to time!


At 9:06 PM, Anonymous sylvia said...

Ha Ha! They're even funnier out of context!

At 10:03 PM, Anonymous sylvia said...

P.S. I especially like the trivia about the Mundo de Fieras handshape. That was a very funny story that I had completely missed.

At 10:52 PM, Blogger schoolmarm said...

.....and more definitions for the MDF handshape in American Sign Language: tapped on the chest, it means "COMPLAIN" (proper complaining facial expression accompanies it) or "OBJECT" (appropriate facial expression here, too).

For your enjoyment, Sylvia...


At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Margarita said...

Hello folks,
After swearing I was taking a telenovela break (they are just waaaaay too addictive and I'm already hooked on too many shows) Telemundo just came out with another historical one!!! This one is called "Zorro" (yes, that Zorro) and features Arturo Peniche (Antonio in our beloved "Alborada") as the evil governor Fernando. This is the first episode I'm catching, but so far it looks pretty good (and the new 'galan' is quite hunky). Just thought I'd pass the 411 for those who need a historical telenovela fix. It plays on Telemundo at 9:00pm Eastern/8:00pm Central. I took a peek at the Telemundo website and today's episode is number 7, so we haven't missed that much. Feel free to curse me for adding yet another possible addiction to your plate =)


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