Friday, June 24, 2005

Thoughts from the Wesleyan campus

Some quotes from Wesleyan professors, via the Daily Jolt:

"I DO know what the f* I'm talking about. I got a PhD."
-- John Finn, GOVT 203 Constitutional Law

"Don't put your hand there, you're not Michael Jackson."
-- Javanese Dance Teacher, while teaching students a new move

"We look back at the Puritans and say, 'How could they eat people?!' Well, they were very hungry."
-- Professor Kirk Davis Swinehart, HIST237: Early America

"'Oh, shit!' She banged the table twice, then again. 'Oh, shit,' she said, and banged it again. 'Shit! Shit!' Bang. Bang."
-- Professor Rose, ENGL206, on how not to write a fictional scene

"I'm sorry, I just spaced out while you were talking."
Professor Moon, GOVT 159: The Moral Basis of Politics, showing his students good listening skills

"I'm not saying this is the most scintillating class ever, but you need to come to class every day so you don't miss important information like where the class is going to be held."
-Sandy Becker, Chemistry 180: Writing About Science

"The Russians have a history of shooting themselves in the foot. If they were a centipede, they would shoot themselves a hundred times. Wow! I just thought of that!"
-Professor Pomper, Russian History 1881-present

"The whole earth is contaminated with life."
Professor Joop Varekamp, Earth and Environmental Sciences

"You know what you call two individuals who partake in sexual intercourse without proper contraceptive protection? PARENTS!"
-- Professor Laurel Appel, Biology

"We all decided the best thing to do with California would be to give it back to Spain."
-- guest lecturer in E&ES 197: Introduction to Environmental Science, discussing the California recall vote

"I don't think you understand. We don't reach utopia. We get old, we get decrepit, and then we die."
-- Professor Ethan Kleinberg, What's Right and What's Left (HIST289), on the future of Western Civilization

"I have a crush on pi."
-Professor Chan, prof of Mathematics

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At 1:00 PM, Blogger Miguel said...

i'm pretty fond of pineapple upside down cake, myself... but i guess pi will have to do...


Funny... funny... post... thanks for the giggles.

At 5:48 PM, Blogger coturnix said...

These are funny!

It is Connecticut Wesleyan, I guess. At first I thought it was NC Wesleyan in Ricky Mount.

At 9:34 PM, Blogger badboris said...

hahaha those are really good quotes. . i guess i didn't get the funny teachers (though magda had some decent cracks)


At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cleveland at the time was not particularly impressed. The Chief of Police was not called; the regular crew, which was always dispersing oil slicks and watching for river fires, had it under laptop batteries control in under half an hour. The only picture (left), taken after the fire was pretty much out, ran in two local papers the next day, but the only story was brief and buried.


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