Monday, April 18, 2005

People having no fun at Disneyworld

I'm about to leave for the airport to go home after one of the most wonderful visits I've ever had with Melina. But here is a memory of a less pleasant family outing, brought back to me by these pictures...

BoingBoing pointed to a spectacular photo set of people having no fun at Disneyworld. It brought back a nightmarish memory...

My brother lives in Los Angeles and feels obliged to take all visitors to Disney at least once, whether they want to go or not. My ex-, my daughter and I went with him, his treat.

The ride down to Anaheim was hot and trafficky. I felt sort of sick by the time we got to the endless vastness of the parking lot. We trekked across the concrete. Melina was already whining to beat the band before we got to the ticket line.

My brother paid huge amounts of money for us to go in. We stood in long lines. The food was expensive and bad. Melina cried when the furry creatures with huge heads came near, she feared and loathed them.

Even looking at a ride which goes around, even looking in the opposite direction from a ride which goes around, makes me want to vomit. I also detest treacle, which is present in abundance in Disney locations.

So I was already thinking to myself, "I don't care how many hundreds of dollars my brother spent to get us in here, I would pay $200 cash if I could be out of here RIGHT THIS MINUTE." And we were broke in those days, so that was a lot of money.

Then, we all went on a decorous ride in boats which went up into a dark indoor space. And then, with a grinding noise, all the boats stopped.

Disembodied voices said firmly to us, "this is just a minor problem. stay in your little cars" (well, I don't remember the exact words, it was about 19 years ago).

After a minute, and a second repetition of this command, I got up out of the little car with Hannah and we found our way out in the dark. We walked around in the sunshine (oh, and I forgot, it was cold that day and we were all freezing) and then sat on a bench for about half an hour until my brother, who to my astonishment proved to be a law-abiding citizen, re-appeared in his little car. He was cross with me for having disobeyed the voices.

I felt I had learned something important about myself. I hadn't even considered obeying those voices. Scofflaw doesn't begin to describe it.


At 8:12 AM, Blogger Badaunt said...

I have a friend here who I love dearly, but whenever she starts talking about amusement parks I start feeling as though she is from another planet. I cannot understand how an otherwise intelligent person in her 40s could spend practically every holiday she gets at least partly in an amusement park. I don't think anything could attract me less.

Those photos are amazing.

At 3:30 PM, Blogger kenju said...

My husband had to go on a business trip to Orlando one year and part of the downtime of the meeting was for all the men to go to DisneyWorld. They got stuck in a small car/boat deep in the bowels of the Pirates of the Caribbean, and all he heard for 45 minutes was" ARrrgh, me maties!" and a parrot squawking. You can bet he was not a happy camper. He had to obey the announcements about staying in your seat, however, as getting out would have meant plunging into water of unknown depth.

At 7:27 PM, Blogger jo(e) said...

I've never understood why anyone would want to go to Disney. And actually spend lots of money to get there.

I am not much for obeying diembodied voices either.

At 9:33 PM, Blogger EdWonk said...

I grew-up in central Florida. I never thought much about Disney World.

Every time we had out of town visitors, I was expected to go.

I especially disliked the overpriced and awful tasting food.

And to this day, If I hear, "It's a small world.." I'll tear my hair out in clumps.

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Craig said...

My first job out of high school was as a balloon man at Houston's Astroworld, where I worked for two summers. My job was to inflate and tie the balloons and make sure that my balloon girls always had a full bouquet and looked like they had just floated in out of someone's cotton-candy, fireworks and ferris wheel dream. I was a good-looking kid, enough so that I seriously considered a modeling career, but fairly aloof, so girls often went out of their way to make an impression. I hadn't yet learned to appreciate potty mouths. Still a virgin then, I was more into Glenda, the good witch of the north. The second summer I was promoted to stock foreman, so I had access to a panel truck and the master key to the stockrooms in all of the gift shops. Boy, if I had known then what I know now .... they'd have fired me on the spot.

At 2:14 AM, Blogger muse said...

I feel so much better, since I've never been to any of the Disney's, though I had two wonderful seasons at the NY World's Fair, but I was a teenager, and it wasn't very expensive.


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