[Hannah]: Caitlin Moran on relationships

"You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening.

"When women find the right person, on the other hand, they just .. disappear for six months, and then resurface, eyes shiny, and usually about six pounds heavier.

"'So what's he like?' you will say....

"...but she will be oddly quiet. 'It's just...good,' she will say. 'I'm really happy.'"