PRATIE PLACE

Saturday, September 12, 2009

A startling act of kindness plunges me into an intense two seconds of gloom.

I have a perverse and secret pleasure: I like to go to McDonald's for a McDouble without cheese and a diet coke.

It thwarts the norms of my earnest and wholesome peer group. I know I won't see anybody I know there. I love lurking and watching other people get on with their days, and Mcdonald's is a great place for that.

As the daughter and granddaughter of miserly people, I get a little thrill out of paying $2.00 for lunch...

It also appeals to my sense of absurdity to do my Yiddish homework at McDonalds.

Sometimes, if I'm lonely, I'll go to the McDonald's inside Super Walmart. This quadruples the violation. Then I pick up a giant bride magazine, because my daughter is getting married and I miss her, and I ogle the wedding porn while I eat my $1.00 hamburger. Afterwards, I put the magazine back in the rack, because ogling is one thing and paying for it is another.

Yesterday I planned a stop at Mcdonalds on the way to my gig with Bob at Whole Foods. And instead of my bill being $2.14, as it usually is, it was $1.65 or something. I looked up inquiringly and the girl said: "I gave you the senior discount."

Ack! Well, yes, I was horrified for a moment, but 40 cents is 40 cents, so I sucked up my chagrin and drank my cheap diet coke with pleasure. After all, I'm still above ground - in fact, I'm still fiddling! Things could be vastly worse. My mom never even lived to enjoy a senior discount...

4 Comments:

At 3:52 PM, Blogger peteguts said...

LOL...enjoyed your McDonald`s venture..its always a bit scarey when we`re "Seniors" but there ARE some benefits as you saw.. meant to come to Whole foods but was under the weather.. enjoy all your posts

 
At 7:22 PM, Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Why don't you guys stop your whining. God, how old ARE you two? I, on the other hand, am the genuine antique human being, having just entered my Golden Years, newly retired, AND a cripple...61.

...think YOU'RE old...bah...

...wheeze...

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Alma said...

Great story, as always!

I have always like to say that I couldn't wait to get grey hair because it's supposed to be thicker than regular hair, plus it just looks cool. Well, now I have sprouted 3 of them... but I am not as excited as I thought I would be.

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous ~susanlynn said...

When I was about 25, one of my 16 year-old students asked me how I was doing. ''Getting older ,'' I replied. After a slight pause he advised, ''Consider the alternative.'' I always do.

 

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