Best. Buy. Ever. (Brian Sack)
From Brian Sack, the Banterist.
- COMEDY CLUB EMCEE
Tells audience he'll "be right with them" and spends the next eight minutes trying to break down a cardboard box.
Says he needs a key for the cabinet. Goes and looks for a key. Says he doesn't know who has the key. Shrugs.
- NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE
Is adamant that SBUX is around $80 per share. Finally consults a computer and admits it's $34 and he doesn't know what happened because he's sure it was $80 yesterday.
Can't help you with the stabbing because he's only familiar with larceny.
- WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY
Answers all questions with "Mmmmmmhmmmm." When asked directly if he knows what he's talking about, excuses himself and doesn't return.
Knows they definitely don't carry bread because they only sell food. Checks with manager. Had no idea bread was food.
- WHOLE FOODS CLERK
When asked for parsley, leads you to squash.
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