From "The Joys of Yiddish"
In advance of Rosh Hashanah, some oldies but goodies as transmitted by Leo Rosten. L'Shanah Tovah!
|Two ignoramuses were arguing: "Does a slice of bread fall with the buttered side up or down?"|
Jacob said, "With the buttered side down!"
Max said, "With the buttered side up!"
So they made a bet. Jacob buttered a slice of bread, raised it, and let it drop. It fell buttered side up.
"I win!" cried Max.
"Only because I made a mistake," Jacob protested.
"I buttered the wrong side."
|Scene: A pushcart on the Lower East Side. A woman picks up a broken fork. "How much?"|
"One cent" says the proprietor.
"One cent? That's too much!"
"So make me an offer."
|"Forty cents a dozen for bialies?" protested Mrs. Becker. "The baker across the street is asking only twenty."|
"So buy them across the street."
"Today, he happens to be sold out."
"When I'm out of bialies, I charge only twenty cents a dozen, too."
|Chutzpah is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.|
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