PRATIE PLACE

Monday, April 04, 2005

Taxes, Curses, then Music



I finally got my taxes done, without throwing anything through the window, but just barely. I recommend AGAINST TurboTax this year, it has become evil and counter-intuitive, with forms that cannot be deleted (or rather, you can delete them but they'll come back again and again) and if you try to do anything out of order your return will instantly be turned into a Mobius strip. Ask how I know.

There are hundreds of important pieces of paper strewn all over the floor (I work best on the rug), it looks like the bad guys tossed my place.

Then serendipitously I came upon a site which will generate as many pseudo-Shakespearean Elizabethan curses as you need. I put in for 10 and got these:
Thou quailing fly-bitten maggot-pie!
Thou venomed motley-minded jack-a-nape!
Thou lewd knotty-pated hedge-pig!
Thou spleeny shrill-gorged dogfish!
Thou beslubbering spur-galled whey-face!
Thou gorbellied guts-griping egg-shell!
Thou cockered dread-bolted strumpet!
Thou loggerheaded motley-minded strumpet!
Thou haughty evil-eyed gudgeon!
Thou roguish sheep-biting skainsmate!
When you are doing YOUR taxes, try the Elizabethan Curse Generator for some relief. Via Gaelic North Carolina.

OK, I feel better now and I'm ready for a party (see above), but there's nobody here.

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4 Comments:

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Badaunt said...

You have described why I use a tax accountant.

(Not that Japanese taxes are all that complicated, but he finds ways to get me money back that I never managed.)

 
At 10:05 PM, Blogger Clublint said...

By jove I was called a fitful half-faced clotpole!

Good fun



Deb

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous colleen said...

I know what you mean about the rug. It's my best filing system.

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Lynn S said...

I stubbornly kept using Turbo Tax for years in spite of having exactly the kinds of problems you describe. The worst was the first year that I DID NOT have a kid in day care. It kept on insisting that I enter the day care information. The only way we could get it to work was to delete all our tax information from previous years and start over, as if we were using Turbo Tax for the first time. A couple of years ago we switch to another tax preparation software (can't remember the name of it) and it was exactly like Turbo Tax. So now it's back to the good old exhorbitantly priced big name tax preparation service.

 

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