Côm ô cabellêireiro.

A random dialogue from "English as She is Spoke," published in Paris in 1855 and since then periodically re-printed for the amusement of all - and for the terror of those who study foreign languages (I was one of them) who fear their teachers, for reasons of sadism or incompetence, are preparing them in this manner ...
Côm ô cabellêireiro.
With a hairdresser.

Senhôr méstre Vm. é múito priguiçôso. Detêm-me êm cása; êu tínha quê sahír. Sê não viér máis cêdo, despéç-o.	Master hair dresser, you are very lazy. You keep me back at home; i was to go out. If you not come sooner, i shall leave you to.
Senhôr, eû vím carrêiras.	Sir, i did come in a hurry.
Barbêie-me.	Shave-me.
As súas naválhas são bôas?	Yours razors are them well?
Sím, senhôr.	Yes, sir.
Sentído, não mê córte!	Look to not cup me.
Pentêie-me depréssa; não mê dêite tânta pomáda. Quê há dê nôvo? cabelleirêiro déve dár novidádes.	Comb-me quickly; don't put me so much pomatum. What news tell me? all hairs dresser are newsmonger.
Nao ouví náda dê nôvo.	Sir, I have no heared anything.
Vênha ámanhã máis cêdo; ê trága-me algúma notícia. Têm múitol freguêzes?	To morrow be more early; bring me any news. Are you great deal of customers?
Bastântes pâra passár.	I have enough for to maintain-me.

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