Saturday, February 19, 2005

Making the World Safe

Toilet Brush That Warns "Do Not Use For Personal Hygiene" Wins Top Prize

Visit the recent winners of Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch's "Wacky Warning Label context":
Over the past twelve months, M-LAW has received hundreds of labels –- all from products made by American manufacturers -- from people living in many different countries. The winning labels were selected by listeners of the Dick Purtan morning show on Detroit radio station, WOMC-FM from a list of finalists selected by M-LAW. The toilet brush label was found by Ed Gyetvai, of Oldcastle, Ontario. He receives $500 and a copy of the national bestselling book, "The Death of Common Sense," by Philip K. Howard.
Other winning labels warned:
  • (on a kids' scooter): “This product moves when used.”
  • (on a digital thermometer): “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”
  • (on an electric hand blender): “Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating.”*
  • (on a 9x3" of air used as packing material): “Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device.”
Not that I necessarily agree with any possible unstated premise of this contest, but the stated premise -- that we are idiots -- nobody can contest.*

* Speaking of which, I myself could have wished for the following label on my bread machine: "Do Not Push the Bread Dough Around Impatiently With Your Fingers While The Paddle Is In Motion." Sigh.

UPDATE: I noticed Barefoot Blogging has some more of these.

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