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Thursday, March 08, 2007

"The Punch and Judy Show" - name that author...

Bob and I are collecting songs for our next cd, a collection of murder and mayhem songs (we're thinking of calling it "We Did It" or "They Did It" and putting the image of O. J. Simpson among the characters in the Last Judgement painting...) and I thought of a song I heard sung many years ago by one of the other performers at the Norfolk British-American festival. If you know who wrote it, please let me know...

UPDATE: I was told John Pole is the author. Still would like to know more.


I am the showman and on me back
I carry me actors in me pack.
A puppet showman, that's me, yours truly,
And the stars of me show are Punch and Judy.
That's the way to do it says Pulcinella,
Humpback and hooknose, symbolic old fella.

The first one up is old Punch himself.
"Ladies and Gents," he says, here's your good health."
He carries a big stick wherever he goes,
It's thick and strong and as long as his nose.
Thats... big nose and long stick, he's a comical fella.

Now up comes Judy, Punch's old lady,
Saying "I'm off now, Punch, so mind the baby."
"No I won't!" says Punch, "Yes, you will!" says Judy
"Come hold your kid, me lad, and none of your old moody."
That's... cocksure but henpecked, pathetic old fella.

The kid keeps howling, old Punch he thumps it,
It bawls, he calms it down, into bed he dumps it.
It bawls, he belts it, it bites his finger,
Punch up and throws it through the bloomin' window.
That's ... "Lie there you bleedin' brat to bawl and bellow!"

Now back comes Judy, she's back home again,
Not knowing Punch has done the nipper in.
"Where's the baby, Punch?" "Gone... gone to sleep," he says.
"Don't you know where your own son is?
You make me weep!" she says.
That's ... "I bung it out the winda" he has to tell her.

She cries her eyes out: "Where's my little son gone?"
Says Punch, "There's plenty more where that one came from."
She grabs her stick and clubs him something lovely,
He grabs it, kicks her, kills her ugly.
That's ... Why keep a wife you hate when you can kill her?

Up comes a copper dressed in blue,
Saying, "Mr. Punch, I'm arresting you,
I've got a warrant here to arrest you for what you've done."
"And I've got a warrant," says Punch, "to knock you down."
That's... Knocking him ass over head right down to the cellar.

Well the law soon catches him and in a while
Before Judge Black Cap he's standing trial.
"Kill wife and child?" he says, "You guilty wretch!
Go out and hang him, Mr. Ketch."
That's ... "Hang 'em all but don't hang me!" he cries in terror.

"See this here rope?" says Ketch, "poke your head through."
Old Punch lets on he don't know what to do.
"In here, Mr. Ketch, or perhaps in here?"
"Hang on," the hangman says, "I'll show you where."
That's ... Swing up the hangman, he's a swinging old fella.

"Jack Ketch is dead," cries Punch, "Hurrah, hurrah I'm free!
Don't care if a devil from Hell should come and call on me."
"Jack Ketch is dead," cries Punch, "Hurrah, I'll do 'em all!"
Up pops the devil - tail, horns, hooves and all.
That's ... "Leave off, I'm your best friend, we're birds of a feather!"

Well the devil darts at Punch cause he ain't havin it,
He swings his stick but Punch keeps grabbin it.
He lands a mighty swipe on Satan's nut and
The devil's out for the punch, as dead as mutton.
That's ... He's killed the Devil, heroic old fella.

Now the show is ending and the dolls need mending.
The Punch and Judy show is never-ending.
Inside each on of us is a Punch and Judy,
In you, sir, you, ma'am - and in me, yours truly.
That's ... the Punch and Judy show goes on forever.




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